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Funny Quotes

  • 1. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

    -Jim Carrey | Funny quotes
  • 2. "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

    -Lana Turner
  • 3. "They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer."

    -Milton Berle
  • 4. "The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government."

    -Thomas Paine
  • 5. "Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don't have and waste an entire day without having a life."

  • 6. "A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain."

    -Robert Frost | Funny quotes
  • 7. "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

    -Frank Sinatra
  • 8. "Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching."

    -Oscar Wilde
  • 9. "My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can. "

    -Carry Grant | Funny quotes
  • 10. "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Do you have any quoestion? "
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